


Seven Days

by divakat



Category: Castle
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Light Bondage, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-08 17:37:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divakat/pseuds/divakat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Always. They've done it, what now? Castle and Beckett retreat to the cabin for some soul searching and a heck of a lot of sexual exploration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from FF.net. My first Castle fic. There are bound to be several errors as chapters are either loosely beta'd or un beta'd so please blame me all you want. First readers pointed out a couple of canon errors but really they are minor and (I think) only in the first chapter. At some point I may fix them but who in the hell knows. It's fanfic, suspend disbelief just a little more.   
> My writing style is different than what I see popularized here. I tend to write in past tense while many here write in present. Mine is more habit and what I am comfortable with I guess but I try to make it work for them.

Sunlight streamed in between the cracks in the blinds as he studied her face in the lazy light of morning and held his breath as her eyelashes began to flutter open,  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
He had woken several hours ago, head spinning when he realized Kate was no longer in his arms. It had taken several seconds of quiet panic for him to realize that his California king mattress sloped away slightly to his left and that a quietly sleeping Kate Beckett had merely rolled away from him in the night. He let his heart quiet a moment before slipping slowly and soundlessly from beneath the tangled sheets, grabbing his boxers as he fled to the adjacent bathroom.  
The quiet click of the door latch sent a wave of releif flooding his body and he bit his wrist to stifle the moan he had been holding back since waking.

_She is here._

_She stayed._

The words kept repeating on a loop in his head as he felt hot tears welling up yet again. 

Not since she lay on the dewy grass of the cemetery covered in bright red blood had he been so afraid.

Last night, after they had exhausted their initial passions for each other and she had seemed so content to remain naked and sated in his arms, he had fought against his instinct to crush her to him, to hold her so tightly that escape simply wasn’t an option. Instead he had simply pressed his lips to her damp forehead and battled the seductive draw of sleep as long as he could, willing the morning not to come.

But it had come, and to his everlasting astonishment Kate had not vanished in the night. And now he was left to wonder, to flee to the relative safety of his own bathroom and battle his disbelief and desperate fear.

When he trusted his legs to hold him, he rose and turned on the shower. Stepping in, he let the streaming water run over his face and head, trying to wash away the remaining whispers of his fears.

When he emerged, he quickly brushed his teeth and then slowly opened the bathroom door, relieved once more to see that Kate still slept buried deep in pillows and blankets. He slipped back into bed, careful not to disturb her and settled in to wait.

He held his breath as she came awake, saw her startle initially at the unfamiliar surroundings, waited for her memory to catch up.

He felt his heart start again in the moment she turned to him and smiled, her eyes going soft as she stretched out toward him.

“Morning Castle,” she whispered, the barest hint of a blush painting her cheeks.

“Morning Beckett,” he said soberly as he clasped her hand in his.

She rolled toward him, her bare breasts slipping from beneath the covers as her body came to rest against his, legs tangling as she held him tightly.

“Oh thank god,” he whispered, stiffening when he realized he had spoken the words aloud.

She pulled away slightly, eyes meeting his as her thumb swept across his cheek. “Did you really think I would want to leave?” she asked softly, as if reading his mind.

He couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth and tell her that yes, in fact the mere possibility of it had nearly stopped his heart.

She looked at him somberly. “Richard Castle, you’ve been my partner for four years now. Did you really think I would let you ravage my body and then leave without making you cook me breakfast?” The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile and she kissed him as if it were the most normal thing in the world that they should be waking up together.

“Oh, I think you’re going to have to earn that breakfast now, Beckett,” he growled, rolling her onto her back and attacking her neck with his lips in the places he remembered had made her cry out the night before. He wedged himself between her thighs, his body ready for her in an instant.

Kate moaned lightly and giggled, pulling the covers over their heads as his mouth descended to her breast, nipping at the delightfully responsive flesh. Her fingers raked across his back, urging him on as she drew her knees up against his sides. Her giggles turned to shaky sighs as he slipped a hand between them, relieved to find her as eager as he was to rekindle the passion of the night before. He slid his fingers roughly against her slick folds as she stiffened and gasped beneath him.

Eager fingers twined in his hair and she pulled his mouth back to hers. “Hurry,” she demanded.

Grasking Kate's thigh, he rolled so that she landed astride his hips, his cock pressed against her entrance. With hands on his shoulders, she kept her upper body pressed tightly to his, lifting her hips and angling them so that he slid deep inside as she sank down again.

His breath left his body in a rush as he was suddenly encased in the tight throbbing heat of her. When she began to rock gently against him and he slipped ever so slightly in and out of her softness in an intoxicatingly slow and steady rhythm, the only thing he could do was hold on for dear life and hope not to embarrass himself in the first few seconds of their union.

Kate's mouth moved feverishly against his in time to the motion of their bodies. Taut nipples grazed across the light hair on his sweat slicked chest and he was both disappointed and relieved when her thighs tensed around him and her fingertips trembled against his cheeks.

“I can’t wait,” she breathed against his ear, taking the tender lobe between her teeth briefly.

He grasped her hips to slow her movements, and then wrapped his arms around her. Raising his knees, he began to thrust upward with each of her downward strokes, quickly bringing him right to the brink with her. Her whole body trembled against him. “Kate,” he choked out as his body spasmed with impending release.

She let go.

Moist heat rippled around him and he thrust into her hard, spending everything he had in a series of desperate cries that mingled with her own softly quavering moans.

*Crash*

They were immediately jolted from blissful post-coital reverie by the sound of something large and heavy crashing to the tile floor in a distant room.

Beckett rolled toward the nightstand without missing a beat but stopped short when she remembered where she was. Richard realized she had been instinctively going for the gun she kept beside her own bed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at him.

“Probably Alexis home early,” he said, rubbing her shoulder sympathetically.

She hesitated. “I’m sorry,” she stated simply, coming back to his arms.

“You’re a cop down to your bones. It comes with the territory.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Except I’m not anymore, I quit the force. Turned in my badge and resigned.” She searched his eyes as if trying to read his thoughts.

“You didn’t tell me,” he said softly.

Her eyes grew distant for only a moment as if she didn’t know how to explain that, even to herself. “Honestly, it wasn’t even on my mind last night. I just couldn’t…” She didn’t finish.

“Kate..,”

*Crash*

She smiled at him, coming back to herself at the interruption. “You had better go offer up an explanation before I show up at the breakfast table in one of your dress shirts,” she smirked.

“Don’t go away,” he said seriously.

“Oh, don’t worry. You sir, owe me one HELL of a breakfast.” She extricated herself from the now hopelessly tangled blankets and strode naked into the bathroom, winking at him over one perfect pale shoulder as the door clicked shut.

“That isn’t what I meant,” he muttered softly.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
He crept out slowly. The fact that whoever was in the kitchen was making no attempt to disguise their movements reassured him that they did, in fact, belong in the house. He peaked around the corner into the kitchen just as a red head popped up from beneath the counter.

“Richard darling, so glad you finally saw fit to drag yourself out of bed.”

“Mother! What in the hell…I mean, I didn’t expect you home until tomorrow.” He tried to keep his tone in check but he was certain his frustration was clear.

“Obviously.” She raised an eyebrow at him, turning back toward a sizzling pan of bacon on the stove. “I got home late last night and no, I don’t want to talk about it. You certainly sounded…preoccupied when I arrived home. I’m not surprised you didn’t hear me.”

He cleared his throat in embarrassment. “Any sign of Alexis yet?” He changed the subject.

“She sent me a text saying she would be home around nine. You might want to sneak your current Kate Beckett substitute out the back door before then,” she shot over her shoulder.

Richard looked toward his study as Kate emerged quietly in her bare feet. “Oh, I think it will be okay just this once. She’s a grown up.” He wrapped his arms around Kate and pulled her close as she tiptoed to his side.

“Honestly Richard, you've gone 18 years without parading your floozies in front of your daughter so she could develop healthy ideas about relationships. You're really going to throw that out the door now? For what? Some hot model with a case of hero worship?…” she spun around angrily and dropped the spatula loudly when she saw Kate.

“Good morning Martha,” she smiled sheepishly.

His mother’s mouth worked soundlessly for a moment before spreading into the most genuinely relieved and pleased smile he had ever seen. “Oh my god!” she put a hand dramatically to her chest and looked up to the heavens, or in this case, the ceiling. “Thank you,” she whispered, “thank you.”

“Richard was just about to cook me breakfast.”

“Well, by all means! I am just going to take my plate into the other room and leave you two love birds to it.” She breezed past them, pinching his cheek as she did so. “Good boy,” she whispered.

Castle watched Kate as they ate. She was different this morning. In many ways it was if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She smiled more, her eyes danced with playfulness when she tossed a crust of bread at him or rubbed a hand up his thigh beneath the table. His heart was lightened by the change in her but somehow he kept waiting for the other shoe. It seemed impossible that she could slip so neatly into his life like this without some sort of negotiation process.

There was her job as well. At the moment she said that turning in her badge wasn’t weighing on her but he knew that in time, when the spell they were currently under began to wear off and reality crept back in, he knew they would have to figure out just what it was they truly wanted from each other and from their lives both together and separately.

There were simply too many distractions in the city, too many headlines, too many people. For just a moment it needed to be about Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, no cases, no cops, no relatives (dead or alive), no publishers, just them.

“We need to go away,” he said suddenly, starting up from the table.

“What? Go where?” She looked at him quizzically.

“I don’t know, somewhere quiet? Somewhere where it’s just us. Please Kate, believe me when I tell you that it is the most incredible and unexpected miracle that you are here with me, that you want me,” he moved in closer and stroked the hair from her face, lowering his voice, “but there is just so much…” He looked at her pleadingly, quietly begging her to understand.

She was silent for a long moment, her brow furrowing as she turned his words over and over in her mind. “Okay.”

He kissed her softly, still amazed that this was something he was allowed to do. “Thank you,” he said simply.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him back, pressing him back against the counter as she did so. Just as his hands began to wander the buttons of her shirt, the latch on the door clicked open and Alexis burst in looking immediately at the two of them with wide eyes.

He broke away from Kate quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Alexis, we…” he began.

She threw up her arms in a dramatic gesture that would have made Martha proud. “Oh Thank GOD,” she exclaimed loudly, coming forward to embrace both he and Kate in turn.

Kate looked at him with wide eyes over a head of long red hair as Alexis hugged her exuberantly.

Finally, releasing Kate, she took both of them in a stern glance that made him feel as if he were standing in front of one of his old Headmasters. “So,” she said in a tone that left no doubt she expected an answer, “now what?”


	2. Day 1

_…she took both of them in a stern glance that made him feel as if he were standing in front of one of his old Headmasters. “So,” she said in a tone that left no doubt she expected an answer, “now what?”_  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

_“Now what?”_

The words burned themselves into Kate's brain until she would swear that anyone who looked at her could see them etched in bright red across her brow.

She should be scared, hell she should be panicking, because even in the furthest corner of her mind, she could find no answer for those two little words.  
She should be running like mad right now but she wasn’t. In fact, she felt a calm serenity inside that she didn’t think she had felt for years, a calm pierced only by a tiny wave of what she could only call…excitement. She felt as if she were perched at the very edge a steep cliff and the answer to everything lay at the bottom. All she had to do was jump. If the fall didn’t kill her she would finally know the answer to those words.

 _“Now what?”_  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She watched Castle from the bed, legs tucked up beneath her as she idly sipped at her cappuccino.

Jesus, his closet was meticulously organized. Rows of blazers, button downs, and coordinating ties in almost every color imaginable were all she could see in the immense walk-in that was nearly as big as her spare bedroom. The man had a sickness.

“Castle, do you own anything other than sport coats?”

He cast an incendiary glance at her over his shoulder. “I also own three tuxes.”

She rolled her eyes. “Tell me again why I can’t just go back to my apartment, pack a bag, and meet you back here?”

Rick turned to her with wide eyes, his expression mock-serious. “Haven’t you ever watched a soap opera?”

“What can that possibly have to do with our situation?”

“In the soaps, characters spend years jumping through hoops to finally get together and JUST when it seems that happiness is within their reach and they are about to drive off into the sunset together, SOMEBODY has to run an errand OR,” he gestured at her accusingly,” go back to her apartment for one last thing and POOF! They get hit by a bus, or run into their ex husband who was supposed to have died in a tragic plane crash 20 years ago, or even get kidnapped by Columbian mobsters who replace them with an evil clone!”

She laughed despite herself. “This isn’t the soaps Rick.”

He sat on the bed beside her and addressed her somberly, all trace of humor disappearing. “I know that Kate, but given how long it took us to make it here, you’ll forgive me for not taking any chances with you until we both know exactly what this is.”

Rick searched her eyes until she reached for his hand and smiled. “How about we decide where we’re actually going first?”

Finally, he relaxed and grasped her hand in return. “Where do you want to go? Paris, the Caribbean, Antarctica? Just name it.”  
She mulled over every exotic location in her head but in truth when she thought about the idea of being alone with him anywhere on the entire planet, her heart yearned for only one place. “You’re going to need some flannel.” She smiled wickedly.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Two hours later and they were headed north on 87 in a rented SUV, the skyline of Manhattan fading behind them. She let her hand rest comfortably in his as they drove in companionable silence. His thumb caressed the back of her hand absently and she thought how strange it was that this gesture alone was now capable of sending a flush to her cheeks and spreading a soft warmth in her belly.

They stopped north of Albany at a grocery store in Queensbury to stock up for the week away. Two hours later and they bounced down the familiar curves of a washboard road until she turned down a long and well-maintained two-track which brought them to their destination.

A two story log cabin rose in front of them, the land sloping away just past it to a black lake bordered with thick trees.

She turned toward him on the seat but kept her eyes firmly fixed on their entwined hands.

“This is…” he began softly.

“Yes,” she interrupted. “It’s my father’s cabin.”

“This is where you…”

“Yes.” She raised her head. She studied him but his face was unreadable, a rare thing.

“Thank you,” he said, moving his other hand to cover hers.

Kate didn’t know where the tear came from but she felt it snake quietly down her cheek. She was grateful that he understood why bringing him here had been so important, why it was an apology of sorts for pushing him from her life in the past. She reached up absently to swipe at the dampness on her cheek and smiled. “We had better get unpacked, the sun goes down fast up here and we need to get a fire going before it does.”

They began the chore of ferrying in groceries and suitcases. Beckett disappeared into the cabin’s crawl space to turn on the power and the water supply. She tossed Castle a sturdy piece of canvas with handles on it and set him about the task of hauling in firewood from the well stocked pile that lined one side of the structure.

The cabin itself was spacious but cozy. A stone fireplace extended the height of one wall, a full two stories high. The rooms were furnished in the Adirondack style, the beds and couches sturdy but comfortable. A small staircase curved up from the living room to a lofted bedroom above. After Rick had finished hauling what he thought would be an adequate supply of wood for the night, he deposited their bags upstairs. He took in the large and comfortable looking bed with its down comforter and stack of quilts with eager anticipation and then turned away with a resigned sign. There was time, lots and lots of time.

When he returned downstairs he took a closer, more critical look at the kitchen. It was designed more for efficiency that luxury and there was a distinct lack of the gadgets he was used to. Instead, a rack of sturdy looking pots hung from the ceiling including two well seasoned cast-iron skillets.  
He took a quick inventory and turned to Beckett in alarm. “Where’s the coffee maker?” he asked in a slightly panicked tone.

She opened a cupboard beneath the center island and produced an ancient looking aluminum pot with a small glass sphere on its lid.

“What is THAT?” he exclaimed.

“It’s a percolator, Castle. Haven’t you ever gone camping before?”

Rick looked for a moment like he was torn between immediately bolting back to civilization and sullen tears.

“Relax Castle.” She reached beneath the counter again and this time emerged with a heavy and much more modern looking French press.

“Oh thank god!” He relaxed against the counter with a hand to his chest and she thought, not for the first time, that he was more like his mother than he would like people to think.

They unloaded all of their other purchases from earlier, tucking things away in cupboards and drawers. He opened one of Beckett’s bags that he had failed to notice earlier and turned to her with a disgusted look. “Muesli? Really? I thought that was something people fed to pigeons.”

Kate snatched the box from his hand. “I like it,” she defended. “A girl can’t eat bacon every day, you know. “

He looked as though she had wounded him deeply and she rolled her eyes, turning to put the box away. She opened another bag and pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup. “Really?” she looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.

Castle grinned and looked down at her with hungry eyes that she guessed had absolutely nothing to do with food. One of his large hands closed over the tiny one of hers holding the syrup bottle and his other hand tilted her chin up as he leaned down to kiss her, brushing her mouth with his slowly and lightly until her head spun.

“Really,” he whispered against her parted lips. He deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing softly against hers in exploration.

Instinctively, Kate dropped the syrup on the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing herself up on tiptoe to lean into him even more. Last night, everything had happened so quickly that, past the first few tentative kisses, their too-long repressed mutual need had driven them to a far too quick resolution. In short, she really hadn’t had time to appreciate his technique.

The man could kiss.

He could kiss in a way that sent heat coursing from her lips, down her spine, and straight out through her toes. He could kiss in a thank-god-he’s-holding-onto-me-because-my-knees-are-about-to-give-out kind of way.

When Rick finally released her lower lip from his teeth, she gripped the countertop to steady herself.

“Wow,” she breathed, drawing her fingers to her lips.

“Yeah, it’s all in the dismount,” he said with quiet cockiness. But she could tell he was as breathless and unsteady as she was.

Kate ran a hand through her tousled hair and let out a shaky sigh. She was about to pull him back to her when the light outside the window caught her eye. “We should go.”

“Go?”

She grabbed his hand and led him to the door. “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.”  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
A chill wind from the lake greeted her as she crested the small rise and stood facing the emptiness of the water. He was behind her. She could feel him standing just at her back without even turning around.

“In my entire world, this is my favorite place,” she said quietly, knowing her voice didn’t need to carry far. Her tone was foreign amidst the sound of lapping waves, rustling reeds, and calling birds.

Kate stared out at the sun dappled water, knowing Castle was waiting for something more but she couldn’t bring herself to break the silence again.

She felt the heat of him in the second before his hands came to rest on her shoulders, sliding down her arms and gently enfolding her in warmth.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, wrapped in silence and each other. A minute? An hour? A lifetime? The light of the sun grew redder against the inside of her  
eyelids and she realized she had let them drift closed, heightening the inviting feeling of his body pressed to hers.

The sun sank behind the trees and the world around them was bathed in amber light. His chin slipped from its resting place atop her head, slid to her ear.

“I love you,” he whispered.

There was a space, a heartbeat in which she could respond but before the words became unstuck in her throat, the door closed and she remained silent.


	3. Day 2

The pale mist rising from the lake obscured all but a few hundred feet of her view. It was clear that the sun had come up over the horizon behind her but its rays still lacked the strength to burn through the soupy haze.

The air was chilled and damp and she pulled the blanket around her shoulders even tighter as she gazed out into the emptiness.

Kate shivered as she remembered the mornings she had spent in this same pose, wondering how long it would be until her physical and emotional scars would begin to heal. If they ever would. Now, as she contemplated sharing those moments with Castle, she tried hard to remind herself that she had survived. She had fought and she had flourished despite everything standing in her way and the Kate Beckett who had emerged from the wreckage of her life was different in so many ways from the woman who had stood here a year ago.

She tried to find the courage within herself to re-open those wounds, to let him see inside of her and know the darkness she had felt in those first few weeks here. Her therapist insisted that an important part of her own healing was to allow someone else into the pain she had tucked quietly away for so many months. She knew  
that if she ever wanted to trust Castle’s love fully, she would have to know that he understood how her time here had changed her, would have to know that he could love the darkness as well as the light.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
His nose was cold, a sharp contrast to the delicious warmth the rest of him was currently experiencing.

He opened his eyes. The light in the cabin was still dim but he could see pale light filling the windows.

He smelled coffee.

He smiled and rolled over beneath the heavy layer of blankets.

He was alone.

Thankfully Rick knew by the aroma of what smelled like a heavy French blend steeping downstairs that Beckett couldn’t have gone far.

Stretching slightly, he yawned and contracted again, conserving the warmth of his body. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well or woken up feeling so completely refreshed. Even the cool air that had crept under the blankets as he stretched felt invigorating.

He lay there for a moment contemplating the events of the last 36 hours and still had to remind himself that it wasn’t a dream.

Last night, by the time he and Kate had cooked dinner, polished off a bottle of wine and cleaned up the kitchen, it was obvious that they were both utterly exhausted. He was content with the fact that she clearly wanted him to share her bed, even if any other activities were beyond either of them. She had fallen asleep beside him almost the instant they crawled beneath the covers and he had wrapped his arms around her and tried to ignore her ice-cold toes as they pressed against his calf. He remembered drifting off to sleep with the scent of her shampoo filling his nose.

With that memory as motivation, he cast his covers aside, planted his feet on the wooden floorboards, and drew back with a stifled yelp. It was freezing.

Mustering his will, he quickly tip-toed to his suitcase and pulled out a warm pair of socks Beckett had been right to insist that he bring. He dug out a pair of worn jeans and a black cashmere v-neck sweater and dressed as fast as he could, running a hand through his untidy hair but deciding anything else could wait.

Descending the stairs, he found coffee cups set out on the counter and the, as yet, untouched French press. He poured two cups and, seeing no sign of Beckett in the house, opened the door to the porch.

She didn’t turn around when she heard him step outside and alarm bells went off in his head immediately. He set a cup of coffee beside her on the railing without a word and then gazed off in the direction of her focus.

The heavy mist was beginning to take on a golden glow and he could see thick tendrils of it coiling right to the edges of the black water.

He looked down to where her hand gripped the rail, her knuckles were white and her fingernails dug slightly into the wood. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her through whatever was going on in her head at the moment but he knew instinctively that if he waited, she would come to him.

Sipping idly at his coffe, Rick willed himself to be patient.

“There’s this perfect point in the mornings sometimes where it seems that you’ll never be able to see more than a few feet in front of you.”

Her voice finally broke the silence. It had a quality he remembered only from the few times she'd truly opened up to him about her mother or a case that affected her deeply It was like the words themselves were a heavy weight and she was pulling them up from someplace deep inside.

“Just when you think it will stay that way forever, somehow like magic, shapes come out of nowhere and before you even realize what’s happening, the sunlight wins and the whole thing lifts like a curtain. You can see forever.”

In fact, as he looked out now, it was obvious that the sunlight was trying to force its way through and he could see the long dock extending into the water where a moment before there had been only a white wall.

She turned to him and his heart twisted at the struggle playing out across her features.

Kate met his eyes for a moment before lifting her coffee to her lips and taking a sip. She placed it back on the rail but held onto the handle, her eyes fixed on the black liquid. “The first week, it was all I could do to drag myself out here every morning. I was exhausted just walking up the stairs and everything hurt. Everything.”

She finally looked up at him. “The physical pain wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part was the fear. I’ve never been afraid like that in all my life, Castle. Never felt a fear that penetrated so deeply. Every time a twig snapped, every time a branch clattered on the roof of the house, each time a hunter’s rifle sounded in the distance, I was paralyzed. I’m a cop. I’ve spent most of my life running toward the things other people run away from and here I was, cowering like a scarred rabbit at the slightest sound. Every single day was a battle just to get out from under the covers and I thought, ‘how can I be this person? I don’t even know who she is.’” She swiped angrily at hot tears that spilled down her cheeks despite her best efforts to hold them back.

Rick put a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to do this Kate, not now.”

“Yes I do. I think you need to know where I came from if we even have a hope of figuring out where we’re going.” The resolve in her eyes and in her voice was clear.

He swallowed the need to protect her from the pain and nodded, urging her to continue.

“I was so tied up in all of it, Montgomery, my mother, the pain, the fear, Josh…” She broke off for a moment and reached out to take his hand. “You,” she said softly. “I just wanted everything to go away. All of it, I just wanted it to stop.”Her final word was chopped off abruptly and it was several moments until she spoke again.

  
When she continued, her voice was quieter, her eyes focused inward. “One night, maybe two weeks after I first came here I sat in the bathtub.” She swallowed hard, “I sat in the bathtub with every pill bottle they had given me lined up in a little row and I thought, ‘it would be so easy’.” Her voice trailed off to a whisper. “I thought anything would be better than feeling like that for the rest of my life.” Her voice broke and he squeezed her fingers, his vision blurring as moisture pooled against his lower lids.

“What stopped you?” he asked, chancing an interruption.

She smiled ruefully. “I didn’t want them to win. I refused to finish the job they had failed at.”

Kate was quiet for awhile and he waited for her to continue. She was breaking his heart with every word and he knew in that instant that he would gladly have thrown himself in front of that bullet to save her from this.

“After that it was easier. I made the decision to get well. I made the decision to go home and I worked every day to get better, to be stronger. I couldn’t face the fear but I thought if I could just focus on healing my body…” She trailed off, shaking her head.

“I noticed little things at first. It hurt less to breathe, my scars seemed a little less raw. I started walking around the lake, a little further every day. I felt like I finally had control over something again.” Her eyes were pleading, begging him to understand. “Still, I felt different, you know? Like a piece of me was missing, like that bullet hit me so hard it knocked something lose that I just couldn’t seem to put back in its place again.” She laughed bitterly, “I kept standing in front of the mirror and starring at myself, as if, just by looking hard enough, I would be able to see what was missing, what was out of place.” She sighed and stood up straighter, the hardest part of her story over. “It wasn’t until I came back…until I saw you again. That was when I realized how much work I still had to do. That was when I realized I really did want to be whole again.”

He felt quiet anger burning inside of him. “You didn’t have to go through that alone, Kate. All you had to do was let me in.”

She moved closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. “Yes I did, Rick. I needed to come to this on my own, completely on my own terms. It wasn’t enough just  
to know that you loved me. I had to feel like I was worth loving to be able to realize how much I wanted to return those feelings. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry it took me so long.”  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The words had barely left her mouth when he pulled her into a crushing embrace, burying his head against her neck. He knew he was nearly lifting her off her feet but he didn’t care. Her hands clutched at his back and her cheek was damp against his shoulder. He couldn’t get close enough.

It was several moments before he could even contemplate the idea of letting go of her ever again.

When he finally trusted his own voice, he pulled back and took her face between his hands. “Tell me you’ll never push me away again. Promise me you’ll always let me in, always Kate.

Something flashed across her face that lasted the briefest of an instant, something he didn’t recognize. “I promise,” she whispered.

It was enough for the moment. He found her mouth in a kiss that was rougher than he had intended it to be, a kiss that sought possession rather than comfort. She tensed against him, and then twined her arms around his neck, hands tangling in the hair at the back of his head as she anchored his lips to hers.

His tongue met hers as her lower back met the porch rail. He fought with the tie of her robe as her hands slipped under his sweater and into the waistband of his jeans, cool fingers sweeping over warm flesh.

He was startled when his hands encountered no barrier to her silky skin beneath the nubby terry cloth. Pulling back, his eyes were drawn to her bare breasts and he could see that she wore nothing but a pair of soft-looking knit pants. Unable to help himself, his hand reached out and gently cupped one breast, his thumb teasing across her dusky pink nipple which was hardened by the cool air. He weighed the soft flesh in his palm, stroking and kneading tenderly as he memorized the feel of her before he lowered his head to the sensitive pink bud and drew her into his mouth, nipping gently when she responded by pressing into him.

He was mesmerized by the silken feel of her skin sliding beneath his fingertips as his hands roamed her back and hips and he wanted to spend a day drinking in the beautiful curves of her body but the hitch in her breathing and the sudden fumbling of her hands at his zipper told him this too would have to wait.

Straightening, he quickly pulled his sweater over his head and dropped his arms to his sides. Cool air filled his lungs to bursting as Kate freed his growing erection from its confines and pushed his pants around his ankles. He hissed sharply as her nimble fingers stroked his length, teased and tested until he pulsed hotly in her grasp.

Rick slipped his fingers into the waist band of her pants and gave a gentle shove. The soft material slipped over her hips and pooled at her feet.

Bending slightly, he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her as she drew her knees up and locked her long legs around him. He let part of her weight rest on the sturdy railing, supporting the rest of her with an arm around her lower back as he leaned her slightly back. One hand gripped his neck tightly as she slipped her other hand between their bodies and began rubbing slow, tight circles over her clit while she kissed him.

The temptation to watch her touch herself was nearly overpowering but the hungry mouth working feverishly against his demanded all of his attention. He gasped against her lips when damp fingers gently curled around the head of his cock, guiding him to where she needed him.

He hesitated in that last second, drawing out the heat of the moment as he sat poised just at her entrance while she pressed her forehead to his. Hot breath mingled in the cool air between them as she slowly raised her fingers to his lips, painting his tongue with the intoxicating taste of her. He suckled each digit in turn as he began to move a fraction of an inch within her, in and out, in and out- a slow teasing dance that left her whimpering and clutching desperately at his neck. Her current position left her completely dependent on him for support and put him in total control.

When he stilled his hips suddenly, she tried to move against him, nearly throwing them both off balance.

“Tell me what you want.” His question was nearly a growl, his voice low and thick with arousal.

“I want you inside me, all of you. Please, Rick,” she begged.

The urgency in her voice set his blood on fire and he said a silent prayer that the porch railing was as sturdy as it looked. With a swift smooth stroke he buried himself in her completely, balls smacking flatly against her bottom. She threw her head back with a delighted gasp and his lips assaulted the exposed flesh of her throat as he withdrew and thrust into her again. His knees threatened to give out as she tightened her inner muscles around him to hold him in place momentarily, exerting the only control she had in the most delicious way imaginable. A strangled “Fuck,” escaped him as he shifted his arms around to support her shoulders, leaning her even more precariously into empty space.

She had no choice but to hang on as he set up a steady driving rhythm that shook the railing beneath her. He was vaguely aware that their mingled cries of delight and the hard wet slap of flesh against flesh echoed into the stillness of the morning around them but he was far past the point of caring about anything other than the look of intense pleasure and concentration on Kate’s face as she grasped and reached for release.

When he sensed that she was on the edge, he slowed his movements, grinding his hips into her with each thrust to give her more of what she needed. Her mouth opened in a silent cry as she began to come, her body quivering and pulsing around him. He drove into her with renewed intensity, muscles straining with effort, each shuddering breath bringing him closer until, with one last stroke against velvet heat, he came in a series of hot bursts that left every limb trembling.

He used the last of his control to pull her forward against him as he collapsed slowly onto the cool wood of the porch floor.

She lay nestled against his chest, her long robe covering his lower body as they both fought to find their breath. She was the first one to regain the power of speech.

“Tell me again why it was that we waited so long to do this?” she mouthed against his chest, her lips toying with one flat nipple.

“You’re asking me? I was ready to take you the first time we rode alone in the elevator!” he said in mock accusation.

She raised her head and her eyes twinkled with suppressed mirth. “The elevator huh? I’ll have to remember that one.”

His hand slipped beneath her robe and lazily stroked the soft expanse of her back. “For starters. Shall I make you a complete list or all the places I’ve imagined us together?”

“The Captain’s desk,” she grinned.

“Mmm…the supply closet,” he countered.

“The ammo locker,” they both said in unison and then grew quiet, remembering in the same instant that those places would no longer be a part of their lives.  
He brought his head up and kissed her lightly, happy when she smiled softly at him.

“Can we cross porch railing off the list? I think I’ve got splinters,” she said, making a face.

His hand moved lower to caress her bare bottom. “Funny, feels absolutely perfect to me. Of course, my butt is completely numb from lying on this icicle you call a front porch.”

“Mmm..,” she purred, “and I need more coffee…and a hot shower.”

He was disappointed by the sudden absence of her weight on top of him as she gently shifted and rose. Reluctantly, he followed her, wincing as his back and thighs protested his recent exertions. He waved off the hand she offered him, trying to preserve some dignity as he moved to gather his clothing.

Rick pretended not to notice her rapt appraisal of his backside as he stooped to retrieve his cast off sweater, however he couldn’t ignore the hard slap she gave his ass as she breezed past him into the house. He straightened with a startled yelp. “What was that for?”

She shrugged and grinned at him wickedly. “Just something I’ve always wanted to do.” She let the door slam noisily behind her as she left him starring, slack mouthed, at her retreat.

As he dressed, he tried very hard to believe that the Kate Beckett who had just walked away was the same one who he had found starring disconsolately into the mist less than an hour ago. He wanted so badly to simply accept her earlier catharsis as the completion of her inner struggle, but of course, she wouldn’t be the Kate Beckett he loved without all of her many, many layers. He only hoped that the next six days were enough time to make a firm beginning, for both of them.


	4. Day 3

There was an ache between her thighs that hadn’t been there three days ago, a sweet pulsing reminder of how much her world had changed. She wasn’t yet ready to analyze the other ache she felt as she lay curled up watching Castle sleep. That ache, the dull one that started just below her throat and extended down past the top of her ribs, the one that made her feel like her chest was simultaneously exploding and caving in? That one scared the hell out of her.

She would deal with it eventually, there was still time and she felt herself getting closer and closer to understanding what it meant to her.

Right now all she knew was that she liked watching him sleep.

With her hands tucked beneath her head on the pillow, she smiled as he snored quietly, face relaxed in slumber. What little light there was filtered in from the window next to her. It was a flimsy light, knit from the stars and the reflection of the half-moon on the trees, but it was enough. With her eyes she traced the outline of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the row of thick lashes. She lingered at his mouth, parted slightly as he breathed slowly in and out.

Kate raised a hand and traced her own bottom lip with the tip of her finger, eyes drifting partially closed as she remembered the feeling of his mouth on hers and all the different ways in which he had kissed her so far. Like the man himself, his lips seemed to know instinctively how to give her what she needed. They possessed her when she wanted to be taken, teased her when she needed coaxing, gave her control when it was all she could do to hang on.

She realized she was breathing harder, warmth pooling between her thighs just thinking about it.

That warmth, that excruciatingly pleasant ache, was quickly becoming the center of her universe, demanding her attention. She told herself over and over that her newly discovered insatiability for the physical pleasure he gave her would fade, that soon she would have to focus on the seemingly impossible task of taking their former work partnership, their deep friendship, and their astounding natural chemistry and turning it into something that fit into day to day reality.

‘Soon,’ she told herself, “soon, but not tonight”.

She shifted slowly and grasped the edge of the blanket that covered his chest and shoulders, tugging it lightly until it bared the majority of his upper body. She was thankful a small fire still burned in the fireplace downstairs and that pleasantly warm air lingered in the loft. He moved slightly in his sleep but his breathing remained steady and even.

With patience born from sneaking up on her fair share of criminals, she rolled over and raised herself to her knees without waking her bed partner. She studied him a moment longer, swept her hair over her shoulder and set about the pleasurable task of kissing her lover awake.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The wind that blew gently against his face was warm and sweetly scented. It reminded him of the smell of Beckett’s shampoo. He was alone in space with the wind. Firm, fragrant tendrils of air lifted his hair from his forehead and caressed his naked skin.

Naked.

Yes, of course he was naked. It only made sense to be naked here with this gentle breeze that had paused on its journey to twirl and dance about him, to embrace him like a tender lover. He tried to reach out to it, to hold it against him but his hands wouldn’t seem to respond to his commands and the wind slipped through his open fingers to swoop beside him and whisper in his ear.

“Wake up Castle.”

He tried to reach out again but his arms felt glued to his sides. Try as he might, the more he sought to hold the playful zephyr that teased and tantalized his body, the  
quicker it slid from his grasp.

The melodic whisper of the wind spoke in his ear again.

“Wake up.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Wake up,” Kate whispered as her fingertips slid over the curve of his ear and toyed with the sensitive lobe.

She watched as his eyelids slowly fluttered open and he struggled to adjust to the world. She drew back so that he could focus on her face.

“Beckett,” he muttered, reality finally drowning out his slumber, “what..?”

“Finally”, she sighed and moved back to his lips. It was obvious he was still half asleep and she brushed her lower lip gently against his until he responded. His hands slipped tentatively over her shoulders as if he were still not quite certain what he was touching was real. His fingers twined in her hair as if he sought a way to bind them together permanently.

When his mouth began to move against hers with tender urgency, she pulled back beyond his reach. She was going to take her time loving him and he was damn well going to let her.

Loving him

The words echoed in her ears and she shivered as she stared down at the shadows on his face in the semi-darkness.

She ran her fingers down his arms, took both of his hands in hers and then gently but firmly placed them on the mattress on either side of his head, holding on to his wrists for a moment until she saw awareness dawn in his eyes and then kissed him hard, making sure he knew who was in charge of this particular round.

“Wow,” he breathed when she finally released him.

“You have no idea,” she whispered in his ear as she ran her tongue around its rim, satisfied by the deep tremor that went through him at her words.

She traced a line of feather light kisses along his hairline and down his nose, hovering over his lips for a moment before moving her mouth to the tiny crinkles at the corners of each of his eyes. Keeping her pace slow and deliberate, she trailed open mouthed kisses along his jaw, flicking her tongue against the hard stubble and drinking in the warm taste of him. She feasted on the ropey tendons of his neck, memorizing the spicy salty tang of his skin. She claimed possession as she used her hands and her mouth to explore his body, moving to the hard muscles of his shoulders, the smooth plain of his chest, learning, discovering, and listening for every catch of his breath, every shuddering sigh that told her exactly where he needed to be touched.

The lower she moved the more ragged his breathing became. At first he simply held his hands above his head, following her silent orders to let her pleasure his body unhindered. Now his hands fisted in the sheets beside him, his muscles twitching as he fought his own need to touch her, to seek control.

It was far more fun than she had imagined.

For her own part, the insistent twinge between her thighs had become a hard pulse that quickened with each strangled groan, each ‘oh god, KATE!’ that escaped his lips. By the time she released his nipples -his shockingly sensitive nipples, she was pleased to discover- from the tortuous rasp of her teeth and tongue and moved down his sternum to cover his belly with hot, open mouthed kisses that made the muscles beneath erupt in a series of fluttering twitches, he was panting and covered in a fine sheen of sweat and she was twisting her hips, trying to create some sensation that would ease the insistent fire coiling in her thighs and belly. If she didn’t get some relief soon, she would never have the patience to finish what she had started.

She had been careful thus far to avoid any attention the hardened evidence of his arousal which lay thick and throbbing against the lower part of his stomach. She sat back on her heels for a moment and looked at the whole of his body, committing every detail to memory. No matter what transpired from this moment on she would always have this picture of him, naked, solid, completely aroused and pleading for her touch.

He met her eyes and she reached for his hand, holding his wrist tightly as she guided him to her breast. She let him explore, let his touch fuel her own aching need, all the while keeping complete control over his movement. When she felt the dampness of her own arousal dripping down the curve of her bottom, she rose up on her knees and opened herself, guiding his hand to where she desperately needed him. Her fingers circled his wrist tightly, keeping his movements in check until he established a rhythm she was happy with. “Make me come, Castle,” she ordered.

His fingers dipped and swirled over sensitive flesh and she ground her hips against him harder and harder, keeping her eyes on him until the tingling in her spine coalesced and she came in a tight little orgasm that took the edge off her arousal without spending it completely.

When she could focus again, she found him staring at her with a mix of open lust and undisguised admiration.

“That is absolutely the hottest thing I have ever seen,” he whispered, his voice thick.

“You don’t think I’m done with you yet do you?” she said wickedly.

“Oh Jesus,” he gasped as she closed long fingers around his erection.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
His body was on fire. There wasn’t a single part of him that didn’t burn for the touch of her hands, her lips, her tongue. He sent up a silent prayed when she finally let him touch her. His fingernails had carved little half-moons of pain into his palms as he fought to obey her unspoken command and relief flooded through the muscles in his hands as they caressed her unspeakably soft skin.

He watched in rapt fascination as she got herself off on his open palm, his own need nearly forgotten as she panted and strained, damped his hand with her release, her face a contorted mask of pleasure in the moonlight.

His utter disbelief that he was able to witness her in the throes of orgasm, an orgasm brought on by his hand, by her desire for his touch, was soon replaced by the unutterable ecstasy of her hands stroking insistently up and down his erection.

He concentrated on watching her as she touched him, awestruck by her complete attention to her task. Each swirl of her fingers over his pulsing flesh, each practiced stroke sent sparks of pleasure chasing through his limbs. His vision went dark for a moment when her hand reached down to gently massage his balls and he felt a growing pressure deep in his groin. He wanted so badly to feel her mouth close over him, to feel the tip of her tongue caressing him as her fingers did. His heart was a hammer beating her name against the inside of his chest and he thought, not for the first time, that she might very well be the death of him.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
She was immensely gratified by the effect she was having on him. She loved feeling him pulse and twitch in her grasp, loved keeping complete control of his pleasure.  
She ran nimble fingers over the tight hot skin of his cock, circling again and again around the soft velvet of his head. Beads of moisture formed constantly at the tip and she used the flat of her palm to spread the slick heat. Each time his breathing began to become erratic she slowed her movements, making sure to keep him just far enough away from the edge that she was certain he was ready to beg her to release him from the prison of ecstasy she had created.

She grasped the base of his erection lightly with one fist and stilled her movements. “Tell me what you want,” she insisted.

“Beckett,” he rasped.

Hearing him say her name, the name he had called her more often than not in the last four years, in a voice so choked with desire it was scarcely more than a whisper was nearly her undoing. “Tell me what you want, Castle.”

“I want…” He swallowed hard, hesitant to ask for what he really craved. “I want your mouth on me. Please Kate.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
He couldn’t believe the words had passed his lips. It wasn’t something he asked of women, either they did or they didn’t and he wasn’t one to beg. But this was Beckett, his Beckett and she had asked him to put words to what she already knew he longed for and he had complied. He had complied and now her hot, tight, little mouth was closed around him and doing things he didn’t have a name for and if he didn’t pass out from the unearthly bliss of her snug fist stoking him in time with the rhythm of her hungry tongue he was going to explode in an embarrassingly short time.

“You have no idea…no idea how good that feels,” he choked out in a shuddering breath.

She slowed her movements and he felt himself slip from her warmth. “You want more?” she urged, dragging her bottom lip up his length from root to tip. “Tell me.”

Jesus, there was more?

“I want to taste you,” he murmured, voicing the only thing he could imagine in the universe that would improve his current lot in life.

He was immediately afraid he had said the wrong thing when she quickly sat up and moved away from him. He was ready to beg her forgiveness when she turned on her side and parted her long legs.

“Show me how good I make you feel.” Her voice was liquid fire, naked and smoldering.

Was that drool he felt running down his chin?

“Come here”, he urged, moving toward her and tugging her hips into a good position. He lined his body up with hers and rested his head on her thigh, gasping when the warmth of her mouth closed over him again. Now that she no longer had to support her own weight, her hands roamed freely over his lower body leaving trails of goose flesh and trembling muscles. He bent one knee and admitted her curious fingers to the space between his thighs, shuddering when she pressed just the right places.

The warm musky scent of her arousal was intoxicatingly close and he wrapped an arm around her lower back, pulling her into him until he could finally put his mouth to her and take a long taste. The explosion of her flavor on his tongue was overwhelming, and he delved as far inside of her as he could, rubbing his chin back and forth across the engorged bundle of nerves at her center. Her entire body trembled and she moaned low in her throat, a sound that translated into a humming vibration that stole his breath.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

His cock was in her mouth and his tongue was inside of her and oh GOD it felt so fucking good. The taste of him covered her lips, filled her mouth and still she wanted more. She took him in as far as she could, until her throat contracted in protest and now he was moaning against her clit, moving his hips involuntarily as she fisted him to control the depth of his thrusts. It seemed as though the work of her mouth was mirrored in the pleasure he gave her, each stroke of his tongue, each circle of his thumb and shit, if he didn’t stop what he was doing with his chin she was going to… _oh_.

Her body convulsed and she let him slip from her mouth, clutching and releasing the smooth globe of his ass as her control was ripped away. She pressed her hips hard into him, thinking of nothing but the heaviness pouring into her limbs and the breath leaving her lungs in sharp pants. Her arms and legs were rubber and still his mouth didn’t stop and now the wave that had begun to ebb was cresting again, taking her over and she was utterly powerless against the onslaught of delight.

He was thrusting against her fist with purpose now and with a last effort she closed her lips around his tip again, letting him have her mouth and tongue as his continued to coax pleasure from her exhausted body.  
_________________________________________________________________________________

He wasn’t going to last, hell it was a miracle he had gotten this far. It was only the focus on making her come again and again against his mouth that had seen him through. But now the delightful pressure he felt earlier was merging with pain and he urgently sought release at her hands.

When the warm moisture of her mouth covered him again, he tore himself away from her, crying out as his body shuddered and convulsed with an intensity he had seldom felt before. The strong contractions in his groin forced that heavy pressure into her waiting mouth and she drank it in eagerly, swallowing the evidence of his desire.

When the hardest spasms subsided and he was aware of the bed beneath him again, he lifted his head and Kate turned awkwardly and moved up his body to collapse on the pillow next to him, her hair spilling over his shoulder. Her skin was damp and she drew deep shuddering breaths that brought a weary smile of satisfaction to his face. He draped a limp arm over her, trailing his thumb across her ribs and gently nuzzling her shoulder as he tried to form words.

“I have no idea what I did to deserve that but if you could tell me so I can be sure to do it again? That would be great.”

She turned her face toward his and strained her neck to reach his lips, kissing him lightly, breathlessly, as the taste of him mingled with the taste of her. “You kept showing up,” she whispered.

His heart became a tight fist in his chest. “I will always show up for you, Kate Beckett.” He couldn’t keep the emotion from his voice.

“I know. It’s why I’m here.” Her eyes glistened in the darkness. She shifted so that her head rested on his chest. “I realized it was time I showed up for you for a change.”

He waited, thinking she might give up more but she remained silent and her breathing grew steady and even as she succumbed to exhaustion.

His eyes and cheeks burned with the emotion he held back and he pulled her close, drifting off to sleep with the scent of her shampoo filling his nose and the feeling  
of her heart beating strongly against his ribs.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Kate woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of clanging pans and faint cursing. She smiled and stretched beneath the covers. Strong sunlight already streamed through the window and she could see blue sky and white fluffy clouds outside through the trees.

The few rare mornings they had spent together, in California and before and after her apartment blew up, had secretly been some of her favorite times with him. After the intensity of yesterday morning, and the awkwardness of their first morning together including his mother and daughter, she was looking forward to a lazy breakfast with him that wasn’t interrupted by a dead body or a call about one. The was a slight pang when she wondered if that was a situation she would ever find herself in again but her eagerness to run an unapologetic hand through his adorably messy morning hair allowed her to ignore it…for the most part.

She slipped into her robe and cast a quick glance in the mirror. Her hair was an unbelievable mess and she tried to straighten the worst of it with her fingers. Padding down the stairs quietly, she poked her head into the kitchen. Castle was busily scrambling eggs and jumped slightly when he suddenly became aware of her presence.

“Morning beautiful,” he greeted her.

For some reason the grin that bloomed on his face at the sight of her made her blush all the way to her toes and the way he said those two simple words had her heart doing little flip flops in her chest.

Damn him.

“I’m just gonna..,” she gestured over her shoulder at the bathroom.

“Of course,” ne nodded, turning back to the eggs.

She retreated to the bathroom and leaned heavily against the door, placing a hand to her stomach as she bit her lip in frustration.

The butterflies were new. How in the world was it possible for her to suddenly feel butterflies for someone she had seen nearly every day for four years? Sure he had made her pulse race from time to time but all of a sudden she felt so out of control, as if somehow he now had the upper hand in their relationship.

She took a deep breath and shook herself. “Get it together for god’s sake Kate,” she whispered to the empty air.

She set about the task of cleaning up. Her simple everyday rituals helped her feel much more like herself and when she returned to the kitchen a short time later

Castle had a plate already set out for her piled high with eggs, fruit, and bacon cooked just the way she liked it. She wasn’t sure what was more appetizing, the food or the way his hair fell loosely across his forehead.

“This looks amazing. What got you up so early?”

“Alexis, actually. She called to check in, or check up more accurately. She wanted to make sure I hadn’t done something to make you murder me in my sleep yet.”

“Did you tell her there was still time?” she laughed.

He shot her a look of mock innocence. “What in the world could I possibly do to make you want to get rid of me? I told her you were absolutely in awe of my ability to be both witty and charming 24 hours a day.”

She tossed a grape at him and bit into a piece of bacon.

He snatched the grape out of the air and pointed a finger at her. “Hey, in my world, food fights are a serious business. Don’t start something you’re not ready to finish.”

“Alright, alright, let’s just eat.” She took a bite of her eggs as he dove back into his own breakfast. The moment he wasn’t looking, she quickly loaded her fork and flung a gob of the fluffy yellow substance straight at his ear.

He swiped at the side of his face in surprise before narrowing his eyes. “Oh, you wanna go, do you?” he taunted as his fingers closed around a piece of melon and he started around the kitchen island toward her.

She squealed and ducked, knocking over her stool as the missile flew past her cheek. She grabbed for her plate, coming up with a handful of toast which she tore a corner from. She held it up at him threateningly as they eyed each other across the kitchen. He had something clutched in his hand and launched it at her before she could dive for cover. Something cold and slimy hit her sternum and slid into her robe and between her breasts at the same moment her foot came into contact with the slick remnants of her eggs. She tried to grab the counter but her loss of balance gave Castle time to circle and grab her waist just before her feet went completely out from under her. Suddenly she was pulling him down with her into a messy pile on the kitchen floor as peels of unrestrained laughter echoed off the walls.

He landed awkwardly on top of her, bits of egg still clinging to his hair. She giggled and put her hand up to pull them off but he turned his lips into her palm and captured her wrist to hold it there.

Suddenly her breathlessness was for a completely different reason as he shifted between her thighs, pushing open her robe to gain access. The intense passion that had flared in his eyes in the space of a moment was overwhelming and it seeped inside her, made her reach down and tug at the closure of her robe.

He bent his lips to her neck and she shimmied her shoulders to pull her arms free of the warm fabric, her hands flying to the bottom of his t-shirt as she tugged it impatiently. He mumbled impossible things against her ear as her fingers dipped into the loose elastic band of his pajama pants and he lifted his weight obligingly for the seconds it took her to free him from their cotton confines.

She lifted her knees and placed her ankles in the small of his back as he rose up on his elbows, pausing for an awkward moment to remove the pulpy remains of the strawberry that had been crushed between them. And then he was pushing inside, filling her in the most exquisite way imaginable and she wanted to stop the world and just feel him, hot and hard and pulsing within her. She squeezed her thighs and tried to pull him in even further, lifting her hips and grinding against him, her body already demanding more.

His breath was hot against her neck, his lips moving almost frantically across her heated skin as he set up a hard and fast rhythm, each stroke dragging a harsh cry from her throat that mingled with his own and echoed off the walls around them.

It couldn’t last, it was too hot, too intense, and she was already so close, so incredibly close. Her fingers clawed at his back, moved down to grasp his ass as she pulled him further in with each thrust.

“Come with me,” she panted against his ear, as her body began to tremble.

His weight left her upper body as he placed his palms on either side of her shoulders and arched his back, circling his hips against her. His face was strained and it was clear from the set of his jaw that he was holding on, waiting for her to take her pleasure before he let go.

He wouldn’t have to wait.

The hot tension coiling below her belly spilled into her hips and thighs, set her spine on fire as she arched in release.

He followed her over the edge, his body stiffening and shuddering against hers, seemingly unaware of the animal cry that tore from his throat and rang through the cabin. He collapsed limply and rolled to the side, chest heaving as he drew in deep lungfuls of air.

She didn’t know how long they lay there on the floor but she gradually became aware of something gooey beneath her shoulder and the hard press of the wooden floor against her. Her robe was twisted, tangled, and bunched uncomfortably into the small of her back.

She rolled her head to the side to see if Rick had passed out. His eyes were closed but as she ran a hand up the damp skin of his arm he hummed pleasantly and turned his face her.

“You know, I was just thinking about what you said yesterday. About wishing we had done this earlier? I think it’s a good thing we waited.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

He grinned at her. “Because if I knew it would be like this we might never have solved a single case.”

“Oh come on, Castle, you don’t think you would have gotten bored eventually?” She didn’t know where the question had come from and she regretted it the instant the words were out of her mouth.

His blue eyes turned suddenly serious and he rolled onto his side, running his thumb over her cheek as he contemplated her.

“I love you, Kate. I can count on one hand the number of people in my life I have said those words to and I have never, in my entire life, felt this way about another woman. I love you, I have loved you, and I will keep loving you. There isn’t anything you can do to change that now.”

She was overwhelmed by the utter sincerity in his eyes, the incredible tenderness in his voice. Words tried to form around the lump in her throat. “Rick…”

He ran his thumb across her lips, “when you’re ready, Kate.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“You know, Alexis’s phone call this morning got me thinking. This place would make a great setting for a murder.” Rick said suddenly as they attempted to clean up the incredible mess they had made in the kitchen.

“Excuse me?”

“Come on, Nikki and Rook get called in to assist a rural department with a homicide investigation that has ties to the city? Plenty of exciting ways to dispose of a body out here.” He had that unmistakable excitement in his eyes that told her he was already outlining entire chapters in his head.

“You should write it,” she said sincerely. “I know I saw you throw your laptop in the car.”

“You really don’t mind? I won’t work long. I’d just like to get this idea hammered out so I don’t lose it. I can already picture it,” he ran his palm over empty air as if blocking the title, “Mountain Heat.”

They both cringed. “Sounds like a really bad porn title.”

“It does, doesn’t it? Oh well, the point is, you inspire me.” He leaned over and kissed her gently.

“You get inspired, I’m taking a walk.” She tossed the dish towel she was holding at him. “I’ll let you know if I trip over any dead bodies on the way around the lake.”

“That would be awesome.”

She rolled her eyes and went to change.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The woods around her were filled with the singing of birds and the scolding of squirrels as she made her way through the trees by familiar paths.

She liked spending time with Castle, liked it more than she had even imagined she would but it was good to have time to think on her own, to clear her head.

Back in the cabin she had felt something she didn’t immediately understand and it took some distance for her to realize that what she was feeling was relief. The moment Castle had said he wanted to write about Nikki Heat, relief had flooded her and it felt like a weight she didn’t even know she was carrying had been lifted.

He was still inspired by her. She now knew she had been desperately afraid that since she was no longer a cop, his fascination with her might dry up and he would realize the woman he loved, the woman who was the real mystery, was a mere character in his head.

She could still be Nikki to him, could still be his muse, badge or no badge.

Unfortunately, that was only one facet of what she was feeling at the moment.

The truth was that the look in his eyes when he told her he loved her as they lay naked in the middle of the kitchen, the same look he had the first time he used those words back in her apartment, that look shook her to her very foundation.

It was the absolute and utter confidence he had when he said it. The sure and certain conviction behind those words that said there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that this one pure thing was all that he needed in the world, that it would see them through no matter what. She didn’t know how to feel that.

She loved him. She knew she did and with every moment she spent in his arms, every tiny new detail she learned about him, like the way he rubbed his feet together in his sleep or the way he liked to dip his bacon in the jam on his toast, she felt herself falling for him more and more. She only wished she could share the faith he had that it would be enough, that what they felt now wouldn’t burn itself out under the harsh glare of reality.

The words were there. They kept trying to force themselves from her throat and she bit them back each time, so afraid that he would see her doubts and her fears. He deserved to hear them, deserved so much more than that.

She realized the floor of the forest was blurring in front of her and she swiped at the tears that ran down her cheeks. Until this moment she hadn’t realized how much she desperately longed to be everything he thought she was, to truly be everything he needed.


	5. Day 4

Castle wasn’t initially sure what had woken him. Something had caused his eyes to fly open in the near darkness and he forced himself to remain still as the icy adrenaline of sudden waking coursed through his limbs. It was eerily still in the cabin and he could hear nothing stirring outside that would account for his reaction.

Suddenly, a flash of light illuminated darkened trees beyond the window and his heart skipped. He slammed his eyes shut against the glare, a lingering negative image stamped across the inside of his lids. A few seconds later a low rumble of thunder chased across the silence and he relaxed.

He gently reached out a hand, searching the space beside him until he encountered warm soft skin and drew back, hesitant to disturb her.

The truth was, he absolutely loved a good storm and it took all the restraint on his inner child he possessed not to bounce on the bed and wake Kate so she could share it with him.

Alright, mostly it was the steely look he knew she would give him and the likely thrashing with a pillow he would receive.

On second thought…

Thunder rolled and he shivered. In the city he would often stand at the floor to ceiling windows of his apartment watching as bright bolts of lightning skittered randomly across the clouds and place his hand on the glass to feel it rattle with each booming bass note. Still, the city was no place to really feel a storm and he cherished the times at the Hamptons House when he could stand on the balcony, hair whipped by wind and shirt soaked with rain, to watch a real tempest rage over the open waters of the ocean.

The hair on his arms lifted as flickering white illuminated the loft and he held his breath, exhaling softly when a thick rumble shook the cabin and set the windows to trembling. He carefully slipped from beneath the covers and crept to the window, sliding it open just a crack to let in the scent of the storm.

Faint hints of wind brushed the top of the trees but otherwise the world outside was hushed. Lightning flared again in the distance and by its light he could see a heavy bank of clouds moving over the lake. The echoing thunder clap came more quickly this time and had a sharper quality. He drew a deep breath and let the acrid scent of approaching rain and the over-sweetness of night blooming spring flowers mingle in his sinuses and on his tongue.

He felt the energy of the approaching storm pulsing in his veins and placed his arms on either side of the casement to let it fill him, let the immense power of it stream through his naked body. He could feel the pull of it as it approached, sucking air and energy to feed itself.

A bolt of pure white snaked across the clouds above the lake and he stepped back, reality closing over him again. The first drops of rain splashed against the windowsill and he slid the glass closed with a sigh of regret.

A faint noise behind him caught his ear and he turned to the bed. Kate tossed slightly in her sleep, probably disturbed by the sound of the storm or the flickering light on her face. She made a tiny mewling sound at the next rumble but seemed to drift back toward unconsciousness a moment later.

He decided to check the windows and doors downstairs to make sure everything was secure before the storm was upon them. With one last look to guarantee Kate was indeed sleeping soundly, he descended the stairs cautiously and tested the latches one at a time.

He navigated by memory mostly, allowing the intermittent flashes of light to illuminate his path. Predictably, his toe found the edge of the couch in the dim light and he stifled a curse as he limped in pain back toward the steps to the loft.

As his foot hit the first riser he heard a muffled sound from above followed by a soft cry. Pain forgotten, he took the stairs two at a time and dashed toward the bed where Kate now flailed against the covers. He tried to dodge her thrashing limbs as he moved in beside her but took an elbow to the jaw for all his efforts. He was thankful she was not fully conscious or he might have lost a tooth.

Rain pelted the window now and with the next stroke of lightning he could see the damp hair curling around her temples and the muted anguish on her face.

“Kate,” he called into the darkness, “Beckett, wake up. Wake up baby, it’s only a nightmare.” He held her wrists and tried desperately to wake her. “Kate please wake up, come on.”

Her body stiffened and she bolted upright with a choked off scream. He reached for her and she flinched, still trying to shake off whatever had been in the shadows of her dream. Her eyes were wild and her body trembled as he tried to sooth her.

“Hey, it’s me.” He could tell she was trying to focus. “It’s okay Kate, I’m right here.” He ran a firm hand down her arm and she shivered.

“Castle?” she asked tentatively, drawing up her knees and pulling her arms around herself.

“It was just a nightmare, come here.” Bright light flared outside the window and she shied away from it. “It’s just a storm, you’re safe, I promise.” He scooted closer to her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her naked frame. He drew her back down onto the bed and she curled into his side, her body still tight and coiled.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He pressed his lips to her hair. “Don’t be sorry, it was probably just the storm.”

She remained silent.

Oh. Heaviness bloomed in his chest and he tightened his grip on her. “How long?” he asked, the acknowledgement of her voiceless confession emerging as a creaking whisper.

“It’s much better now, really,” she began in a hushed and gut wrenching monotone.

He was unclear which one of them she was trying to convince.

 

“At first it was almost every night and it would sometimes take me hours to shake it off. I tried staying up for three days once because I was too afraid of what I would face when I closed my eyes.” Something emerged from her throat that was part mirthless chuckle, part resigned sigh. “Needless to say, it wasn’t a very good solution. The drugs helped a little.” She was quiet for a moment and when she spoke again her voice was thick. ”The worst nightmares were the ones that came when I was awake.”

She drew a deep breath and shrugged against him, finally reaching the air above the surface of her hellish memories. “I hardly ever have them now.”

“But sometimes?”

She hesitated. “Sometimes,” she confirmed.

He draped his leg over hers and pulled her flush against him, engulfing her tiny body in his. “I don’t want to think about you waking up alone from that ever again.”

Her fingers stroked lightly over his chest as if she was the one trying to comfort him. “It’s just something I have to go through. I hate it and I dread it but I never thought that being with you was instantly going to make everything better. I’m ready to let you in, Rick but it doesn’t mean you can shield me from all of it. I had to work so long to recognize that I have to feel all the pain and the fear and the anger to be able to move on. You don’t know how sorry I am that it means you’ll have to be terrified for me sometimes but all of this is part of the package now. I’m strong enough to understand if you can’t accept that.”

He didn’t know how to respond. Words were his favorite weapon, his best defense, and yet every one of them seemed so astoundingly inadequate, so flimsy and impotent for what he wanted to convey to her. He let that horrific unasked question hang between them as he stroked the tangled strands of her hair. His chest and throat burned and it took him a moment to bring the emotions flooding through him under control.

“You know, when Alexis had nightmares as a little girl, I would go to her room and sing to her,” he began.

“You want to sing to me?”

“Well, mostly it was themes from ‘70’s and ‘80’s TV shows.” He sighed wistfully. “I think the Facts of Life theme was the most effective. When she got older she told me she would rather go back to the nightmares.”

He could feel her muscles curve in a smile against his shoulder and knew he had said the right thing.

“I take requests. What do you want? Different Strokes? The Love Boat? I’ll have you know I do an amazing Chico and the Man. You would swear Jose Feliciano was in the room. On second thought, I bet you’re more of a Shaft girl.”

She was quiet for a moment and he thought she might actually be considering it.

“Could you just get a blanket and hold me for awhile?” Her voice seemed small against the sound of the storm still raging outside and he knew that voicing what he considered to be a tiny and insignificant request was actually costing her pride dearly.

He did as she asked, unsure which one of them was more reassured by the closeness of the other. Eventually the storm blew itself out and they both began to drift back to sleep.

“Castle?” Kate asked drowsily.

“Hmmm?”

“Did you call me baby earlier?”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
She woke to the musical ping of steady rain against the roof and windows and the firm and reassuring thump of Castle’s heart beneath her ear. She was wedged securely in the crook of his arm, the covers tucked up around her chin. Her body told her it was late morning but by the look of the light outside, the day had dawned dark and grey. She sighed and snuggled deeper into the warmth of him.

Much as she hated to admit it, having him with her after her nightmare last night had made the experience far less traumatic than it had ever been. Usually she would have to do an hour of relaxation exercises before she could even attempt sleep again or resign herself to pacing her apartment restlessly until she could make an excuse to go into work. She winced and tried to ignore the sharp pang of guilt for not coming to him earlier. She knew that he had had nightmares of his own, nightmares that were a tragic mirror of hers and when she thought of him going through that alone she understood his need to try and protect her.

Her thoughts drifted in that pleasant place between not quite dreaming and not fully awake as she tried to imagine what a world might be like where she could wake up every day to the inviting scent of his skin and this little hollow beneath his arm and against his ribs that she wanted to carve out for her very own. Her head spun at the fanciful idea that it could really just be this easy.

So much of their life together thus far had been lived for the adventure of solving crimes and the excitement and satisfaction that came from playing off the other’s insights and experience. They were partners. They were a team. It hadn’t taken her long after starting to work with him to realize that she had never known the full meaning of those words before she encountered Richard Castle. What would it be like now that a part of their lives, the thing that had drawn them together in the first place, was over. Could the excitement they each felt as half of the Castle and Beckett crime solving duo translate into Rick and Kate, mystery writer and…whatever it was she would become to him?

Could this love of his, this love that he was so confident and certain of, survive the mundane? The Sunday morning paper, the last roll of toilet paper, the ‘who left the toilet seat up again?’ debate, or the late night run to the corner store for products of a feminine nature? Could it survive her not being Detective Kate Beckett of the NYPD and being absolutely adrift on the ocean of her former life?

“Yes.”

The answer resounded so clearly and so loudly in her head that she realized she had actually spoken the word aloud. She smiled against him and pressed her lips to the soft flesh above his ribs in an act that was part reverence, part silencer.

Yes, of course he would love her through all of those things because she had seen what Richard Castle was to the people he loved. He was wings and anchor, loyalist and defender, bringer of delight and dryer of tears. He was morning coffee, and late night take-out, and all the moments in between. He was everything and it was why she…

“Could you pinch me?”

Her heart leapt up in her chest and she felt like he had just walked in on her private thoughts. His voice was gravelly with sleep and she liked the way it rumbled in her ears.

“You’re not dreaming Castle,” she sighed, unable to keep the smile from her voice.

“I know, but could you pinch me anyway?” he teased. “Just not the nipples, okay?”

She pushed herself up on one elbow and contemplated him. His eyes were still half closed and sleepy and his hair stuck out in ten directions. In short, he was adorable.

“My God,” he breathed.

“What?”

“You are so extraordinarily and radiantly gorgeous this morning. Right now I am insanely jealous of every man who has ever gotten to wake up to you.”

Heat rose in her cheeks at his clear sincerity. “You’re not so bad yourself, Castle.” She reached up and let her fingers slide slowly through the remarkable softness of his hair.

In the blink of an eye she was on her back beneath him. His hips pressed her into the mattress as he looked down at her, eyes full of things that made her feel suddenly dizzy. Hungry lips grazed across her jaw and she shifted uncomfortably.

“Castle?”

“Hmm..?” He hummed against her throat.

“I really have to pee,” she confessed.

He froze against her and she was instantly mortified.

Almost immediately his weight left her and he bounced from the bed, shedding tangled sheets and blankets. He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Race you,” he said as he bolted for the stairs.

She collapsed back against the pillows, enjoying the picture of his backside disappearing from view and unable to keep an enormous grin from spreading across her  
face. No, life with Richard Castle would never be boring. To him, even the mundane was an adventure.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“So what do we play for? Bare breasts aren’t exactly high stakes when you can see them whenever you want.” She shuffled the cards and regarded him across the table. The rain continued to fall outside and after an enjoyably late breakfast and a long shower he had demanded the ‘ultimate poker showdown’.

“Whenever I want?” He looked at her with boyish hopefulness.

“Within reason, Castle.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to flash you in the middle of the market.”

“Oh, that would be so hot. Let’s play for that. “

“I’m serious. There are only two reasons for strip poker, humiliation and foreplay.”

“I was going to go for breasts and breasts, but your theory works too. So, have any suggestions?”

She bit her lip. “How about fantasy?”

“I’m intrigued.” He leaned across the table, daring her to go further.

She locked eyes with him and leaned in, mouth curling in a sly smirk. “Well, if you win, I will freely and enthusiastically satisfy one fantasy of yours, provided that it can be fulfilled somewhere on this property, without the aid of others, and doesn’t leave any marks not concealable with clothing. If I win, you get to carry out one of mine.”

He stared at her wide eyed and slack jawed for a moment before drawing a shuddering breath and pulling himself together to retort. “So role playing is totally on the table then?”

“Absolutely.” She shuffled the cards and offered him the cut. He waved her off and she dealt.

“Hot teacher and naughty school girl?” He asked expectantly, starting the betting with a few chips.

“A little cliché, but totally doable.” She contemplated her cards. “Check,” she offered.

“Bored writer and hot female plumber? Raise.” He eyed her speculatively.

It was a small raise but his eyebrow was twitching which meant he had something good. The question was, how good? She knew he was watching her for any sign and she kept tight control, refusing to give him so much as a twitch.

“There’s a wrench and a tool belt in the back of the car. You haven’t got anything more creative than that? Honestly Castle, I don’t know whether to be shocked or disappointed.” She ran her finger across her lips and toyed with it to draw his attention. “Check.” She was leaving herself some room, not wanting to spend it all in one hand in case he really did have the cards.

He placed his cards face down on the table and leaned back in his chair. “How about Space cowboy and intergalactic call girl?” He sighed wistfully, seeming to check out for a moment.

“Castle!” She snapped her fingers to bring him back to earth.

“Sorry, I fold.” He looked a little sheepish as he pushed the pot toward her and gathered the cards.

She stared at him blankly.

“What? Too soon?”  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“You cheated.” He accused as she raked in her winnings.

“Really?” She arched an eyebrow, ”you’re gonna be a sore loser about this?”

“You stacked the deck! Hid cards in your bra!” He accused.

“I’m not wearing a bra,” she said flatly. She stood up and began putting the chips back in their case.

“All part of your evil plan to distract me with your yummy naughtiness. I demand a rematch!”

She circled the table as he rose. “I’ll give you a rematch but you might need a little recovery time after I’m done with you.”

He swallowed hard. “This doesn’t involve me wearing a dress does it? Or appearing naked in public somewhere?” he whined.

She placed her hand against the firmness of his arm and slipped her fingers up to his shoulder. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his ear. “You should really relax Castle, they tell me it hurts more if you’re tense.” She turned and started up the stairs leaving him gaping in her wake. “Just give me 5 minutes.”

He whimpered audibly. “You wouldn’t…I mean, you’re not into…Beckett, we joke about this stuff.” He called after her.

She leaned over the railing of the loft. “Grab the cooking oil will you? It should make things easier.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was no way she was serious. He’d been with his share of kinky women but really..? He listened as she rooted around in her suitcase. Was that metal clinking? He was half excited, half trepedatious when she called down for him to join her, instructing him to keep his eyes closed until she told him to open them.

Her instructions made the journey up the stairs a shaky one but he put one foot in front of the other, following her direction until his shins hit, what felt like, the foot of the bed.

“Open your eyes Rick.” Her voice was the sound of silk.

He did as she asked and nearly lost consciousness as most of his blood migrated south with extreme haste.

“You should probably breathe now,” she instructed.

Breathe? Yes, somewhere in the room there was air and somewhere in his body there was blood to make his lungs work.

“I take it you like my fantasy?” she purred at him.

In the dry cavern of his mouth his tongue moved to form words of extreme affirmation but all that emerged was a garbled, “Hngaaa.” He nodded his head instead, glad he could at least force his body into some sort of voluntary response.

To call what she was wearing a bra and panties was to take radical liberties with the definition of those terms. The scant pieces of insubstantial lace covered very little and did an excellent job of drawing and holding his eye to the most exciting bits of her anatomy.

The things that kept pulling at him, the things that really had his cock suddenly throbbing uncomfortably against the zipper of his jeans and his tongue tied in a hopeless parched knot, were the shiny glints that wrenched his gaze to her wrists where a pair of sturdy looking silver cuffs attached to an equally sturdy looking chain that circled behind the slats on the headboard and joined them above her head.

Obviously they’d let her keep her handcuffs.

“I’ve been a very, very bad girl, Detective Castle. Aren’t you going to interrogate me?” She squirmed a little against her restraints and he fought hard to focus on what she was asking him.

She wanted him to..? He was still struggling to wrap his head around the entire concept.

The disappointment that bloomed on her face and the way her shoulders suddenly fell helped him begin to snap out of his disoriented state. “Oh for God’s sake Castle, if this is too much for you just hand me the key. It’s over there.”

He followed her finger to the small table beside the bed, swallowing hard and working a bit of moisture back into his mouth. “Kate…” There, he had managed to do it. Sure it was just a single syllable but progress was progress.

“Really Castle, this is humiliating enough, don’t make it any worse. Just get me out of these okay?”

He took a deep breath and centered himself. “Shut up.”

Her eyes blazed. “Excuse…”

“I said, ‘Shut up’.” He interrupted her.

Her eyes widened, “Castle?”

He sauntered to the side of the bed. “It’s Detective Castle,” he placed a finger beneath her chin, “and unless you’ve got a new song to sing pretty bird, I can think of better uses for that lovely mouth of yours,”he growled.

He could see the shock blossom in her eyes at his tone, hell he was even a little surprised himself, but it was quickly followed by a flush of unmistakable desire.

“Now are you going to tell me why you murdered your husband in cold blood or are we going to have to do this the hard way?” He quickly unzipped his pants and shoved them around his ankles. He fisted himself, watching as her lips parted and getting even harder when she stared at him with undisguised hunger.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she managed, pulling her eyes up to his. “I didn’t kill anyone.” The defiance in her tone was clouded with lust and he quickly moved over her, straddling her thighs and pinning her down.

“Don’t lie to me Kate. I’ve got a 38 with your prints all over it and a bullet in your husband’s skull to match. I can make you talk.” He leaned in and lowered his head, ran his mouth just millimeters above her skin in a path from her clavicle to her ear.

“You say ‘writer’ and it’s over, okay?” he whispered.”You can trust me. This is only about what you want.”

She searched his eyes and nodded, clearly understanding his intent, but just as clearly urging him to continue.

He ran his thumb down her cheek in a deceptively tender gesture and then grasped her jaw in the V of his thumb and fingers, using just enough pressure to turn her head to the side. “So I’m going to ask you one more time. What got you so excited that you put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger?” He lowered himself and sank his teeth into the tender flesh of her earlobe, suckling hard as she twisted beneath him.

“I swear I didn’t do it,” she panted.

He rose up and brought the flat of his palm to the side of her breast in a smack that grazed across lace and hardened nipple, part pleasure and part pain. He hesitated a moment to gauge her reaction, wanted to know if this was too far or just what she wanted.

The way she gasped and sighed told him all he needed to know.

“Don’t ever lie to me again, Kate.” He repeated the gesture for emphasis, this time slightly harder, and she arched up into him, belly grazing the evidence of his own coursing arousal as she cried out.

“So what was it? Did you find him with another woman?” His slid down and placed his mouth just above the peak of her breast, looking up at her face as he breathed warm moist air onto the lace covering her puckered flesh.

She nodded her head vigorously. “Yes,” she gasped.

“That’s better Kate.” He pressed the flat of his tongue against her and circled it, dampening the flimsy fabric.

She lifted her shoulder off the pillow and pressed into him, her body begging for more.

He moved over and suckled her other nipple. “He deserved it didn’t he. Did you watch?” He blew on her dampened skin.” Did you watch as he gave her what was yours?”

“Yes!” she cried out as he rolled the swollen bud between his teeth.

He drew a knee up and wedged it roughly between her thighs. “Is that why you killed him Kate?”

She didn’t respond but drew deep shaky breaths, trying to keep control of her part in this game of theirs despite her instinct to give in. “No,” she finally managed.

He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pinched hard, drawing out a sharp cry. “I thought I told you no more lies?”

She twisted against her cuffs and gave a tiny hungry whimper.

“Tell me Kate, did he touch you the way he touched his whore? Did you want him to fuck you that way, all filthy and dirty? To touch you like this?” He placed his hand forcefully between her legs and stroked up and down, fingers pushing the fabric of her panties aside to spread dampness across the softness of her folds.

“He never wanted to touch me.” She groaned, pressing into his palm.

“But you wanted him to didn’t you? You craved it and he ignored you, gave the body that should have pleasured you to his mistress instead.” He pressed his fingers inside of her, rubbing hard circles against her clit with the heel of his hand. She gripped the slats above her and tossed her head. His fingers moved in and out of her in an ever increasing rhythm, pressing forward with each stroke. “Tell me Kate. Tell me and I’ll give you what he wouldn’t. You killed him didn’t you?”

“YES!” she cried out desperately, twisting her hips.

He knew how close she was but he pulled his hand away, satisfied when she gave a cry of protest. Pulling his t-shirt over his head, he quickly grabbed the key from the night stand and leaned over her. He unlocked one wrist which he kept tightly gripped in the circle of his fingers as he shifted his weight off of her. “Turn over,” he ordered.

She contemplated him with glazed and blackened eyes and then did as he asked, rising up on her knees as he refastened the cuff on her wrist snuggly, but not so tightly as to be painful.

He positioned himself with his knees between hers and leaned into her, letting her feel the hard length of him pressed between her backside. Smooth skin slid beneath his fingertips as he gathered long tendrils of her hair across his palm, winding them around until his hand was anchored at the base of her skull. The hiss of air between her teeth urged him on as he pulled back, bringing her ear close to his lips. “I’m going to show you how a man should treat a woman like you before I put you away for life.”  
____________________________________________________________________________________

It was too much.

His words echoed in her ear and made her tremble all the way to her toes. Her nerves sang out as the flat of his palm collided with her ass and she was unable to stifle the cry that escaped her as vibrations circled her hips and shot straight through her sex.

The pressure at the back of her scalp increased slightly and she held her breath, anticipating the blow that landed precisely where her flesh already burned from the first stinging slap. This time her cry was closer to a howl and she twisted her hips, wanting desperately for him to fill the emptiness between her thighs that was now his alone.

A firm hand slipped around her waist, fingers ghosting across her ribs until they engulfed one delightfully aching breast.

Without warning, her head dropped forward as he released his hold on her nape. Disappointed sigh became keening whimper as he swiftly drove his full length inside of her, his fingers twisting her painfully swollen nipple as he did so.

The intensity of it overwhelmed her. The thought kept resounding in her head that this was Castle making her feel all of these things, Castle making her body thrum with the pounding pulse of desire, Castle making her head spin by fucking her in a way that was ever so much more insanely powerful than she had imagined on her loneliest nights away from him. That they could be this to each other on top of everything else both excited and petrified her.

He began to move in short searching strokes and the needs of her flesh out-shouted the demons in her head.

She tried to move against him but his hand snaked around and came to rest just below her belly, tilting her hips back until…FUCK!

She heard the curse that echoed off the walls but didn’t care if it had come from her own lips. Powerful bursts of intense sensation resounded through her body with every quick stroke that now hit her right THERE.

A new pressure began to build directly beneath his palm that was similar to but stronger than the throbbing of her clit. The tension of it spiraled higher and higher with each of his desperate thrusts and she pulled against the cuffs that now dug into her flesh, clinging to the twin points of pain against the waves of pleasure that threatened to pull her under if she didn’t find release soon.

Harsh pants turned to animalistic groans behind her as he fought for control just at the edge. He was waiting for her to break, fighting the instincts and demands of his body with amazing restraint.

Two fingers slipped down to cradle her clit and with his next thrust she shattered around him, surges of delight spreading out to curl her toes and lift every hair on her body. Wave after wave reverberated through each limb as he continued to move against her and her thighs turned to water as he saw her through the storm.

His hands moved to grip her hips, fingertips digging painfully into her skin and providing her ten sharp points of focus as she fought to come back to earth. She raised her head to glance back over her shoulder and her body immediately began to tingle with renewed warmth.

The set of his jaw, the strained tendons of his neck and shoulders, and the way his eyes were absolutely glued to the place where their bodies joined together sent a shiver through her and she exhaled in a low moan as he began to drive into her with full pounding strokes. His body was covered with a fine sheen of sweat and she could tell the effort to prolong things was costing him. She concentrated on clenching her still fluttering muscles around him each time he withdrew, feeling the impossible tension build inside of her again.

His thrusts became increasingly erratic, each push of his hips ending in a strangled groan, and in the moment she knew he could not possibly hang on any longer, his body tensed and stilled, his head arching back impossibly as he cried out his orgasm to her in a series of choked off cries.

He drove into her again and again, fingers fluttering a nonsensical rhythm against the flesh of her hips. She felt the flood of his release against her womb and let the shaking of his body gently carry her over the edge as they both sighed and sank to the mattress.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He struggled to suck air into his lungs as he collapsed against her back. He quickly realized she was still bound and fumbled for the key with fingers that felt as if they didn’t belong to his body.

When he had released her, he drew each one of her wrists to his lips in turn and laved the lingering redness that was the price of her game with his lips and tongue.  
With loving fingers he stroked the side of her breast as if to sooth the hurts he had caused her before.

“Everything okay?” he asked quietly, wanting desperately to know if he had crossed a line.

Her eyes fluttered open and there was dampness on her lashes. A tear leaked slowly from the corner of her eye and trailed down to plop wetly on the sheet beside her  
ear. “Castle…” Her voice was thick and she swallowed hard. “I didn’t know it would be like this.”

His heart flew into his throat at the thought that he had pushed things too far. He bent his lips to her cheek and tasted the salty dampness of her skin. “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted…”

“No!” She was quick to reassure him. “No, I don’t mean this. Well, I do, but I mean…this, all of it, you and me and…and everything.” Her fingers caressed the slightly bruised spot along his jaw and trailed lightly over his lips. Her damp eyes were wide as though she were truly seeing him for the first time. “Can you ever forgive me for not knowing how good it would feel to be loved by you?”

He buried his face against her neck to hide the tears that burned hotly against his lids at her words. He blanketed the skin of her shoulder with light strokes of his lips and held her. “Does that mean we get to do this again?” he muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still 3 days to go on this. Next chapters will be slower to post. It generally takes me 2 weeks for a chapter but these later chapters are like mini fics in themselves so try to be patient.


	6. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone recently asked me if I was ever going to finish this story. I have actually had quite a bit written for some time but wasn't immensely happy with it so I sort of just abandoned things. Wasn't too hard to dig up and polish what I had already written and I think I can finish things off for you. It will feel nice to cross this one off the list! 
> 
> I haven't watched Castle since some time in season 5 due to a scheduling conflict and a growing obsession with NCIS that lead me deep into the world of slash fiction. So if there are things that don't mix with canon it's not even remotely my fault. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Some things do get resurrected!

**_And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom._ **

**_~Anais Nin~_ **

_Bzzzzzz…Bzzzzz_

The incessant buzz of a vibrating cell phone tugged Richard Castle from the comforting hold of restful sleep. Reaching blindly toward the sound his fingers grazed the edge of the phone and knocked it to the floor. As he leaned over to search, his heavy lids lifted slightly to focus on the eerie blue light that shone into the darkness from beneath the corner of the bed where it landed face-up.  Who in the hell would call him in the middle of the night?

He came fully awake in an instant and as heart flew into his throat thinking of Alexis, but when he finally reached the phone and focused on the screen, it was Beckett’s name that flashed at him. Confused, he quickly reached for the other side of the bed, his fingers brushing cool sheets where Kate’s warm skin should have greeted him.

The phone was suddenly quiet in his hand, showing a missed call.

“Beckett?” he called into the darkness.

Everything was strangely quiet and he could hear no movement in the house.

He jumped a foot when his phone began vibrating again, this time flashing a waiting text. Mind spinning, his fingers fumbled on the screen.

**_Morning Castle, dress warm and meet me by the dock. Coffee’s on the counter._ **

He checked the time stamp on his phone. It was 5am.

What in the hell could she possibly be doing up at this hour? It wouldn’t be the first time he had come at her beck and call with complete disregard for the time of day but usually there was a dead body and a mystery waiting for him for his efforts. He seriously hoped that whatever was prompting her to wake him at this hour was at least as exciting.

Digging the heels of his hands into his eyes, he tried fruitlessly to shake off his grogginess. He flicked on the bedside lamp and fumbled sleepily in his bag for clean clothing. Once dressed, he plodded down the stairs to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and brush his teeth. By the time he emerged the world was finally beginning to come into focus.

The unpressed coffee sitting on the counter beckoned him and he poured the steaming muddy liquid into the travel mugs Kate had placed beside it, adding cream and sugar before heading for the door.

He looked out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her and glean some sort of clue as to what she was up to. While he didn’t enjoy being up this early in the morning, it was obvious she had something special planned and he was excited by this rare glimpse at her playful and impulsive side.

Stepping outside, his world went instantly black. He waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and soon realized that there was already a faint lightening of the horizon.

 The bobbing luminescence of a flashlight in the direction of the water caught his attention and he worked his way carefully down the porch steps and along the path to the dock.

As he approached, he was suddenly blinded when the bright beam of light turned directly on him.

“Hey,” he shouted, raising one coffee laden hand up to shield his eyes.

“Sorry.” Beckett’s voice rang out in the darkness, echoing over the open water.

The shaft of light fell on his feet and illuminated the rest of the path to where she stood near the corner of a small and sturdy looking shed.

“Morning,” he said as he reached for her, all irritation at being awoken so early immediately vanishing when she quickly set down the light and twined her arms around his neck.

He embraced her awkwardly, still balancing both cups of coffee in his hands, but her mouth had no trouble finding him in the darkness.

Her nose was cold against his, her lips soft and eager as she pressed up into him. He hummed gently against her mouth when her tongue brushed his lower lip and opened to her tender exploration. The taste of her covered him, mingling deliciously with the lingering tingle of peppermint toothpaste.

She whimpered softly in the back of her throat as he pressed his hips into her and he nearly covered them both in hot coffee when one of her hands slid slowly across the roundness of his backside.

He was breathless and more than a little aroused when she finally pulled back.

“Good morning,” she said, her mouth still millimeters from his.

“Mmm…that is SO much better than a dead body,” he muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“The kiss…I mean, your body…it’s better than waking up to a dead body,” he fumbled. “You know what? Never mind.”

She laughed at his awkwardness. “I figured it was the least I could do for hauling you out this early.” She stepped back and wrapped her fingers around the steaming cup he offered her.

“Oh, I don’t know, we _could_ go back to bed and you could _really_ make it up to me,” he said hopefully.

“Sorry Castle, not this morning. Today you are going to participate in a time honored Beckett family tradition.” She reached for her flashlight and ducked into the shed.

Her departure was followed by a series of curious bangs and scratchings from inside and his inquisitive mind refused to be patient. He stuck his head around the door frame and ran smack into Kate who was emerging with a large spaded shovel.

Rubbing his already bruised jaw where it had struck her forehead, he looked down at her suspiciously. “Please tell me Alexis wasn’t right. You’re not actually going to kill me and get rid of the body are you?”

Her eyes sparkled in the dim light. “Well, the thought did cross my mind once or twice but I realized too many people know you’re here alone with me. I’d never get away with it. Of course,” she said, coming toward him with an evil grin, “that wouldn’t stop me from making it look like some horribly tragic accident. A drowning perhaps? Some terrible mishap with the chainsaw?” Her fingers crawled up his chest slowly as her voice grew quietly menacing.

His eyes grew wide as they lit on the very dangerous looking chainsaw resting on a shelf next to the door.

God, she was good.

She laughed. “Relax Castle, the sex is far too exciting for me to off you this soon.” She pushed off his chest with a grin, handed him the shovel and disappeared into the darkness of the far corner.

“Exciting?” A self satisfied smirk bloomed on his face.

“Very.”

He was still mentally gloating over this when she finally emerged. He took in the contents of her arms and stared at her wide eyed. “You’re taking me fishing?”

“I thought it might be a nice surprise,” she grinned. “My Dad and I used to get up crazy early in the mornings after a good storm and row out into the middle of the lake and just sit for hours. It didn’t really even matter if we caught anything, it was just about being out there together.”

His heart melted a little and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He turned around as a sudden thought occurred to him. “Where’s the boat?”

“Tied to the end of the dock. Don’t worry, I made sure it was 100% spider free.” She rolled her eyes. She had heard the anxiety creep into his voice.

“Best. Girlfriend. Ever!” he said, the words leaving his mouth without a second thought. Realizing what he had just said, he held his breath to see if she would comment.

There was a slight hesitation in her movement as she set down the tackle box but otherwise she gave nothing away.

“So,” he cleared his throat to shed the awkward silence, “what’s the shovel for?”

“Worms,” she said simply.

“Eww.” He dropped the shovel, wiping his hands on his pants at the thought.

“Seriously Castle? You’re fascinated by death and you’re bothered by worms? They’re just worms. Besides, they make really good bait. Almost as good as fireflies.”

His head came up. “Fireflies?”

“Yeah, the fish like them. What, don’t tell me you’re creeped out by fireflies too,” she said incredulously.

“No,” he mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, and kicked the dirt sullenly.

“Good, then I suggest you start digging.”

He grumbled a response she couldn’t make out and moved over to the tree line to begin turning over piles of sod.

“Could be worse Castle.”

“How is that exactly?”

She grinned to herself. “I could have sent you hunting for leeches.”

 xxxx

Ten minutes and a whole lot of slime and whining later they had loaded everything into the boat. She retrieved the oars from the shed and fitted them carefully into the oarlocks as Castle warily inspected the underside of his seat for anything hairy and eight-legged. He seemed a bit unfamiliar with the physics of small boats and she had to warn him several times to stay low as his height and sudden movements threatened to toss them both into the cold murky depths. She was beginning to rethink the wisdom of combining Rick Castle and open water.

When he finally sat down, she cast off and began rowing out to the places she knew offered them the best chance of actually catching dinner for the night.

The Eastern horizon had grown lighter and pink tinged clouds now dotted the edge of the sky. She could make out the shore to her right and she stopped when she judged that they were over one of the best fishing holes where the lake bottom below them slanted away sharply to deep springs. 

“Castle,” she whispered, “I need you to reach behind you _very slowly and carefully_ and toss the anchor over the side. Can you do that?”

“Absolutely,” his voice boomed out over the water.

He recoiled sheepishly as she shushed him. “You’ll scare the fish,” she admonished

“Absolutely,” he whispered, turning over his shoulder and tossing the heavy weight overboard with a huge splash that bathed them both in icy lake water.

“Nice,” Kate sputtered, wiping her face with her sweatshirt.

“Sorry,” he cringed.

She handed him the pole she thought would be the easiest for him to manage. He looked away as she deftly worked a worm onto the hook, glancing over his shoulder to be sure she wasn’t lying when she told him the deed was done. She quickly adjusted the bobber and motioned for him to cast toward the shoreline.

“I _have_ fished before, you know. Just usually it’s deep sea fishing with harnesses and minions who take care of the whole…baiting thing.” He cast out awkwardly, his bobber landing only a few feet from the back of the boat.

She quickly rinsed her hands over the edge. “Here, let me help you get the feel of it.” Moving slowly as he reeled in, she carefully avoided his dangling hook and moved to sit between his thighs. She closed her fingers over his wrist and lined her arm up with his.

“I like this better already,” he murmured against her hair as he cast again, this time much more successfully. “So, now what?”

“Now, we wait.” She snuggled back against him.

“I think I like the way you fish,” he said, placing his chin atop her head.

xxx 

He had taken Alexis on a father-daughter fishing trip in Canada every year from the time she was old enough to hold a pole until the year she finally decided that even catch and release was far too cruel to the poor fish who were, as she put it, ‘really just trying to get a little fast food’.

Was it wrong to let Beckett believe that he was all thumbs when it came to a rod and reel? Maybe, but if it kept her baiting his hook and tucked against his chest like this for the next hour or so, he could certainly live with the guilt. Besides, it didn’t appear that the fish were really in the mood to bite this morning anyway. After a half hour, he hadn’t seen so much as a nibble.

Always one to take advantage of a good thing, he balanced the pole in one hand and wrapped the other around her waist, resting his hands atop hers.

“So, you want me to be your girlfriend, huh?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Ahh, I was wondering when that was going to come up.” He hoped she couldn’t feel the way his heart suddenly hammered in his chest. “Honestly it just sort of came out.”

“So you didn’t mean it then?”

He suddenly felt like he was in Junior High again and he wasn’t willing to play games with his feelings for her. “Kate,” he said sincerely, “I want you to be anything you want to be, as long as you want to be with me. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give and you can have all of me that you want, always.” He splayed his fingers across her stomach, holding her tightly as he pressed his lips to her hair.

“Rick, I…”

At that moment, several things happened.

He felt a sharp tug on the rod in his hand and only just managed to tighten his grip before it was nearly yanked away. His bobber had disappeared below the surface of the water and the boat swung abruptly in the direction of his line.

Instinct and muscle memory took over and he began to pull and release and reel in long arcs. It felt like he had hooked a shark with some serious fight.

Beckett quickly moved out of the way and went for the net as he tried to bring in whatever it was he had on the line.

He pulled once more and this time a huge fish with long stripes and a pointed nose flew out of the water, fighting with everything it had before disappearing beneath the surface again only a few feet away. Muscles straining, he leaned back as the line moved beneath the boat.

There was a split second in which he knew he was in trouble. The antique looking rod in his hand, bent nearly in half now, gave a sickening snap and before he had a chance to compensate for the sudden absence of opposing force, the small of his back hit the edge of the boat and a second later, icy water closed over his body.

 xxx

Kate saw it happening in slow motion, the snap of the rod, the immediate counter response of Castle’s body as he was thrown backward and over the edge, the sharp blow to his back as he fell.

She reacted quickly, grabbing the flotation cushion and throwing it into the water in the center of the ripples that pushed the boat away from where he had fallen.

It seemed like an eternity to her but was, in reality, only a fraction of a second before he broke the surface with a high pitched squeal and began to flail. 

It was obvious that he was panicking and had lost his orientation. “Castle, behind you,” she called, engaging the oars and maneuvering closer to him. “Grab the oar.”

His eyes were wide with alarm as he turned in her direction. He was able to calm himself enough to cling to the sturdy piece of wood and she pulled him in.

“Kate,” he sputtered, “f-freezing,” he managed as he grasped the edge, his knuckles completely white.

“It’s okay Castle. Just listen to me, I’m going to help you move around to the back and then we can get you in. If you try to get in now you’ll swamp the whole boat.” She held his eyes, trying to help him fight his terror as she worked to avoid a real disaster.

He nodded his understanding and moved hand over hand around the boat to where it was naturally lower.

She grasped both of his upper arms and encouraged him to hold tightly to her. “When I count to three I want you to kick your legs really hard okay? Ready? One, two, three!” She levered all her body weight backwards and was able to pull the majority of his upper body up and over the stern. He grabbed the rear seat and with a complete lack of finesse, plopped unceremoniously onto the floor in a sopping heap.

She crouched beside him, smoothing the wet hair back from his forehead. “Are you all right?”

Eyes closed, he drew deep gasping breaths and his body shivered from the combination of adrenaline, cold air, and frigid water.

“Castle, answer me. Is your back okay? Can you move everything?”

He opened his eyes and turned toward her, a huge grin spreading across his face. “D-did you s-see the size of h-him?” he asked.

Relief flooded her and she sagged against the hull. Her chest felt like it was going to explode from the warring desires to both kiss and strangle him. “It was a Muskie I think,” she said, “probably almost 4 feet long. They get pretty big up here. I’m sorry Castle, they usually stay deep this time of year and don’t hit on a worm lure. The storm must have brought him up to chase smaller prey. I…I wasn’t prepared.”

His hand closed over hers. “Hey, t-this isn’t y-your f-fault. I should have c-cut the l-line.”

Something dawned on her. “Yeah, where did your sudden ninja fisherman skills come from anyway?”

“M-must have been r-raw t-talent.”

She suddenly realized how badly he was shaking and that his lips had taken on a distinctly bluish cast. “Castle, we need to get you out of those wet clothes quickly.”

“I l-like the w-way your mind w-works.”

She glanced at the horizon. The sun was just emerging behind the trees and was still far too low to provide any kind of warmth. “Can you get up or do you need a hand?”

He managed to push himself up onto the seat. All of his limbs appeared to be in working order but she had nothing to warm him with and all she could do was watch him shiver violently as she worked the oars back and forth in long straining arcs to propel then to shore.

The ten minute trip seemed like an eternity and her shoulders burned as she secured the boat to the end of the dock. Rick was strangely quiet as she helped him out and quickly wedged herself beneath his arm, stumbling with him to the waiting warmth of the cabin. The fact that he didn’t protest her assistance worried her greatly.

“Take your clothes off,” she instructed, hurrying into the guest bedroom to grab an armful of blankets. She deposited them in front of the fireplace and quickly tossed several logs on the banked coals.  He was still fumbling with the buttons of his shirt when she came back to the kitchen and she brushed his trembling hands aside. “Let me.”

“I l-like it w-when you’re b-bossy,” he said, but there was no accompanying Castle grin this time.

She pulled the shirt from his shoulders, alarmed by how cold and clammy his skin was. She pushed his sodden jeans down around his ankles and helped him rid himself of his equally drenched boxers, socks, and shoes. She pulled his cell from the pocket of his jeans and set it on the counter, knowing it was likely a lost cause.

“Y-you have n-no idea how g-glad I am that this isn’t the f-first time y-you’ve seen me n-naked,” he stammered as she led him to the fire.

She draped several wool blankets and quilts over his shoulders and spread out more on the floor. He watched her intently as she began to shed her own clothing.

“I d-don’t w-want to be a d-disappointment this early in our r-relationsh-ship but y-you’re gonna h-have t-to give me ten m-minutes. M-maybe f-fifteen.” He pulled the blankets tighter around himself.

“Relax Castle, I’m going to use my body to help you warm up. Lie down and put your back to the fire.”

He lowered himself down onto the blankets and she quickly slipped into the cocoon with him, pressing warm skin to ice cold flesh.  “So w-warm,” he murmured as she wrapped herself around him.

She pressed her leg between his and rubbed hard circles into the muscles in his back to stimulate circulation, carefully avoiding the area he had smashed against the hull of the boat.

Gradually the tremors of his body began to ease and his skin warmed beneath her hands. He was quiet and seemed content to lie wrapped in her arms. It was the quiet that worried her the most.

Her own core temperature had dropped remarkably as he leeched the heat from her but the fire and the heavy blankets helped keep her from shivering.

His breathing became slow and even and she realized he had drifted off to sleep. She held tightly to him, reassuring herself of the fact that he was whole and warm, even if he did smell slightly of fish and seaweed.

 They had faced death together and separately many times and it had never felt like this to her. She knew deep down that she was overreacting, even being absurdly dramatic, but for the first time she felt as though she had something in her life she was desperately afraid of losing, something that was worth clinging to even with her very last breath. 

Exhaustion bore down on her like a heavy weight, making her eyelids feel leaden and her limbs burdensome. Eventually, sheltered in the hollow of Rick’s arm, she surrendered.

xxx

When she awoke, she had no idea how much time had passed. The light of the sun was much stronger through the windows and the fire had burned down considerably. She quickly realized she was being watched.

“Feeling better?” She asked, lifting her eyes to meet Rick’s steady gaze.

 “Mmm…much, but I think this knocks out any fantasies I had about us skinny dipping in the lake this week.”

His smile had returned and his lips were back to an inviting shade of pink.

“So, I guess this means the count is even then.” His eyes twinkled.

“The..? Castle, you _can’t_ be serious. Are you really still trying to convince me that you’ve saved my life seven times?” she baited him intentionally.  The truth was she enjoyed listening to him recount the incidents where he had stood in harm’s way for her, no matter how foolish he had been.

“ _Nine_ times Beckett, _nine._ The first was in the apartment where…

She lost herself in the melody of his words, the timbre of his voice. The man could certainly tell a good story even if his view point was just _slightly_ skewed.

An incredible sense of calm crept over her as if his tone truly was hypnotic. The only things that existed in her world at the moment were the warm crackle of the fire, the soft bed of blankets beneath her, the hard length of his naked body pressed against hers, and the pleasant drone of his voice in her ear. How was it possible that she felt those simple things were enough to keep her happy for the rest of her life?

“And how can you possibly ignore the time I…”

“I love you,” she interrupted.

She could tell it took a moment before the words that had just come out of her mouth had a chance to really ferret their way into his brain and it was some time before his mouth had a chance to slow down.

 “I’m sorry did you just..?” he said incredulously.

“I said ‘I love you’, Richard Alexander Edgar Rodgers whatever-you-change-your-name-to Castle. Against all my better judgment and despite the sure and certain knowledge that I will live to regret it more days than not, I am simply, truly, and completely in love with you and I am beyond sorry that it took me this long to find the words.”

 In fact, the words spilled out of her in a torrent as she gently stroked his face, watching his reaction.

He held her eyes and brushed her bottom lip with his thumb before gently pressing his mouth to hers. He kissed his way along her jaw and brought his lips to rest lightly against her ear. “I need to use your phone.”

She pulled away abruptly. “I’m sorry?”

He quickly wormed his way out from beneath the blankets and began rooting through her clothes.

“Castle, what..?” This was NOT how she had imagined this moment.

“I’d use mine but I think there are fish swimming in it at the moment. AHA!” He palmed the slim silhouette of her phone and turned toward the fire.

She stared at him open-mouthed, her anger slightly put off by how absolutely beautiful the shape of his backside was outlined by the red tongues of flame.

He placed the phone to his ear and turned back toward her with a smug grin. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said to whoever was on the other end.  “She’s totally in love with me.”

He held the phone away from his ear with a grimace and she didn’t need to be standing by his side to hear the girlish squeal of delight that echoed through the receiver.

“Yes I’m sure,” he affirmed, nodding into the phone. “Let’s see, well, first she rescued me from the jaws of a giant lake-dwelling fish with sharp pointy teeth, -long story, I’ll tell you later-, then she said she loved me.” He turned to her with a satisfied smirk, “How did you put it Beckett? ‘Simply, truly, completely in love’?” He held the phone away from his ear again and waited until Alexis had stopped shrieking with delight. “Yeah, love you too. See you soon.”

She drew an involuntary breath as he turned to her, all trace of humor from a moment ago as he regarded her with an intensity she had never seen.  His naked body was cloaked in dancing red firelight as he reached a hand down to her and drew her up into his arms. 

Loving fingers brushed the hair back from her forehead and he smiled into her eyes. "Tell me again," he whispered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
